Hard time reviewing this one. I keep reading the series and I'm entertained. I don't want to go into this being fan fiction it is I read the Draco trilogy and this is very similar. Enough about that.
So lets start with the characters. Clary needs to be a more dimensional character sure she likes to draw not once does she sight a artistic influence. The story mentions anime and manga, but the whole story just seems to gloss over it. Artist are usually passionate people. I think she needs some character development. I end up feeling negative about her. She isn't really into Simon but is shitty and jealous of other girls that show interest in him. Greedy and selfish. This is supposed to be her best friend yet she resents him being happy. Not cool sister not cool.
Annnddd Jace. I want to like you man, I do. Show the better side of you, I know you had it rough growing up most of us do. So maybe you're using sarcasm as a shield. Mostly you are such a n ass for no reason to everyone. You end up being a dick, and I think you Clary deserve each other.
Simon I like you. Good tee shirts. You are the right amount of moody and there for your friends to bad you are not the love interest.
Alex I like you too. The whole trying to come out being confused.
Mangus I wanted to like too, but alas you are decades older and chasing after a teenage boy! Come on now! I'm over this in ya fiction. I don't care how young they look sexy time with minors is a no go.
That brings me around to wtf parts of this book. Simon and Clary spending the night in the same bed and the father figure is all hey man whatever. I just can't see it happening. I can't see a brother and sister feeling sexy for each other either. Sorry cant do it no matter the circumstances. Our society is to taboo about it. After they found out the are sibs they would have been full of shame and revulsion . I caught the red herrings, but they don't know. So not selling me on it,
The magic that they do is odd not super impressed and I love magic. Also kids that are not religious don't know that much about Angels. I don't buy it. If you asked random teenager who the Vice President a fair few couldn't tell you but tons of teenagers know obscure biblical angel facts?
Over all I say needs work. I liked it better as fan fiction.